The odds are against us you know?
by FarRim-Afterlife
Summary: Shepard has never met anyone like her before. Cold ice queen when can be, gentle and loving just for him. His kind of woman. Though the universe has it in for them. Cerberus wants revenge for their betrayal and the Alliance has branded Shepard a terrorist. Life won't be easy for them but they will sure as hell try. Post Mass Effect 2 AU
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Prelude 1

Default appearance John Shepard / Colonist/Sole survivor

* * *

><p>Location:  Galactic Core / Collector Base

Shepard was carrying Miranda in his arms running through the dark corridors, both of their armors were covered in dark collector blood. Miranda had been hit in her lower back by a Collector with a death wish.

This was all Zaeed's fault Shepard thought, if he had just stayed in position to cover their retreat this wouldn't have happened.

"Joker!" Shepard yelled over the comm. whilst still running towards their designated rendezvous. "Is everyone at the Normandy?"

Shepard felt lost so he stopped and put Miranda down behind one of those pods they carried humans in. He took a look around.

The area they stopped at looked just like any other and it was hard to calculate the right path. After a few moments Shepard heard a familiar voice.

_"Yes they are, Shepard where the hell are you? And where is xo?" Jokers voice came in._

"Miranda is here with me but she's been injured and we..." he began before he started to hear the enemy drawing near. "EDI give me the schematics!"

A synthesised voice replied. "Done."

"Although Shepard, I suggest holding place until help arrives." EDI added.

"Good idea." he said. During the retreat he had been forced to leave his M-98 Widow since it was too heavy for fast sprint. He could hear Garrus' voice in his head.

_You should treat a rifle as if it was your child. I give this to you Shepard so you have to come back alive and return it to me... or my boot will find your ass in the afterlife._

He had only his sidearm The executioner which he called it. He had taken it during the last stand on Omega, from the dead corpse that belonged to the Blood pack leader Garm... after the second longest fight of the Krogan's life.

He kneeled down to look at Miranda, she hadn't spoken since the happening, he said. "Miranda take this gun, I'm goi-"

"Leave me... you should leave me I'm only-" she tried to reason with him, thinking it was the only way for him to survive.

"No, I'm having none of that." He cut off. He tried so hard to see through her helmet so he could read her expressions but it was without success. He added. "I'm not leaving anyone behind. Ever."

He looked at her through the visor seeing her unsettled eyes.

"John... I've never told you how I feel..."

"…"

"…"

"Tell me." he uttered. Gently touching the side of her helmet. "But not here, on the Normandy." he added

She finally gave in realising that he wouldn't. She took the gun he offered and asked. "where are you going?"

"I'll be right back, if backup arrives before I return," he voiced while walking towards one of the entrance ways "Then I didn't make it."

He started to run, passing a narrow hallway until he reached a large gate. According to the schematics this is where the bulk of the force would show up. If he could close the gate before that then it would surely delay them. Shepard turned to the console but just before he could raise his Omni-tool and close it the console got destroyed.

Now looking up he could see swarms of husk starting to come from the cracks of the ceiling and on top of that the collectors was starting to show up on the other side of the large gate.

A husk lunged itself onto his back causing him to fall over, now on the floor Shepard tried to get advantage by grabbing its left arm and bending it the wrong way. The husk didn't seem affected by it so he reached for the knife he had sheathed on his right chest and stabbed it in the side of its head making the knife go stuck.

The husk fell limp on top of him. Shepard got out from under the abomination and saw a few husks starting to drop down in front of him. One, two...no five husks. He was exhausted so his biotics wouldn't be very effective enough for all of them.

He ran three long steps and hurled himself towards the bunch of them, making them all fall down on top of each other with Shepard on top. His knee landed on one husk's face making it become one with the ground. Shepard stood up stomping the other aswell. He felt a hand on his ankle yanking him down making him fall on his back.

His breath took escape and now he was taking fire from the collectors coming from the gate and the husk's were coming more and more running towards him, and even some took a right moving towards the way he first came from, to Miranda.

This was certainly it. Was this how he was going to die? Not by the batarian slavers that killed everyone he once knew and loved? Not on Akuze where he was the only one left to tell the tale? Miranda had trusted him with her life and he was going to fail her.

Before he could accept his fate he suddenly heard a loud roar.

"Aaaaaaaargh!" A heavy-looking krogan landed on top of the remaining husks that were starting to give Shepard quite the beating.

"Battlemaster!" Grunt yelled. He extended his arm and hoisted Shepard on his feet.

"Grunt!" Battlemaster said. Looking relieved. "You are a sight for sore eyes."

The krogan didn't answer but gave a low grunt and motioned to the direction Miranda was located at. Shepard got the hint and followed behind his back, letting the one with the gun take the lead.

Now racing the husks that took off towards this direction Grunt said. "The female is with the assassin, but those little blue humans is going to be a problem." He said while simultaneously firing his shotgun against the collectors that were chasing them. He suddenly stopped. "Go ahead Shepard I'll hold them off."

Soon the collectors would be rounding the corner.

"We are in this fight together Grunt!" He tried.

"The Normandy is down that path." Grunt said.

He gave Shepard a long stare showing he wouldn't back down from this.

Shepard didn't have time to argue and he simply rested his hand on Grunt's shoulder as a gesture of thank you.

"I won't forget this." He said.

Shepard continued on his own until Grunt no longer could see him.

The krogan turned around and he could see the shadows starting to creep from the corners.

"My turn, hehe."

* * *

><p>"Miranda!" Shepard shouted<p>

Shepard could see the piles of collectors and husks that were lying all over the place.

"Back here!" she replied standing up from behind the cover putting her weight on the pod so she could stable herself.

Relief came washing over him as he saw her still in one piece.

They both heard footsteps coming from the other entrance way. Now both looking ready to engage, Miranda pointing her gun towards the entrance. Shepard took a knee ready do deal his last hits of biotics before he would likely pass out from all the exhaustion. Until anything real happened they saw Thane emerge.

"Shepard, Miranda this is the right way. You must hurry." Was all he said.

The Commander circumvented the pod to Miranda and put one arm under her knees and one gently behind her lower back lifting her up so he wouldn't hurt her.

"It hurts like hell." She exclaimed.

"Thane take the lead." Shepard ordered.

"Yes Commander." The drell replied.

Now finally reaching the correct location they could see the Normandy just outside the collector base with only a jump between. Shepard started to run faster and when he reached the edge he tossed Miranda towards the airlock that was opening, letting the zero gravity do its part. "Thane! You too."

When Miranda arrived the drell made a leap for it but it was not far enough, just barely missed it. Miranda saw this and reached her hand down and grabbed his.

"C'mon." She said while struggling to lift him up. When she did she saw Shepard looking back as if waiting for something or someone.

"What are you waiting for?" She Screamed.

"Grunt did come along, maybe he didn't make it." Thane told her. Waiting beside.

"Come on! Dont make me come down there and drag you myself!" Miranda yelled as loud as she was able, still lying on the floor, hoping to get his attention.

Shepard realized that they couldn't wait any longer but just as he was about to turn he saw a familiar sight. Grunt had returned and in full force, collectors and husks, even a Scion was chasing him. He was running all covered in mixed blood, his armor was battered almost in every place.

"Go before we become collector food!" The Krogan barked trying to dodge bullets.

Shepard on cue took a few steps backwards and made a go for it with Grunt following. He landed with a good margin, Grunt slowly after.

Jokers voice came in. "_I'm closing the airlock, brace yourselves."_

The Normandy pilot closed the airlock just when the Collector base started to explode in key locations. The ship turned ninety degrees and gained speed by entering FTL drive.

* * *

><p>Location: Normandy  Deck 3 Crew's Quarters

All remaining crew members were gathered at the mess hall, one by one entering the Medbay to get examined by Chakwas. While most of them looking intact, Jacob had taken a Collector beam across his chest causing burn damage and probably permanent scarring. Then there was Grunt with a broken leg and several bullet entry holes. Earlier though he was running like it was nothing at all. Toughest I've ever seen Shepard thought.

And then there was Miranda... from what he was being told she was being handled by Mordin on the operating table.

Shepard was sitting on the kitchen countertop idly listening, still in armor.

"Anyone got something to eat?" Grunt asked.

"Man...you've been shot at and you have your armor glued to your right leg, and all you think about is food?" Jack replied with a mocking tone. "Fatso."

"What!?" Grunt said flabbergasted.

"Grunt you're up." Chakwas said while waving him over before things could escalate.

Grunt gave Jack a glare and slowly walked unevenly to the Medbay almost colliding with Jacob who was heading out and on his way towards the Commander. He rested himself slowly on one of the stools opposite Shepard letting out small groans and moans. He said. "Being hit by a beam hurts you know..."

With a concerned voice Shepard responded. "Why aren't you resting back in there?"

"Nah," he held a hand up. "gave my seat to Grunt... from the looks of it he needs it more."

"How's Miranda?" He asked while looking in the direction of the tinted windows. Worry showing on his expressions.

"She's sedated, might be stuck in bed a day or two but it could have been worse..." Jacob trailed while looking in Zaeed's direction. "All for what? Stupidity?" he added coldly.

"How worse?" Shepard asked while looking daggers at Zaeed. Which he responded.

"Wheelchair worse..."

"That son of a bitch." Shepard stated and stood up, moving towards the other table were most of the crew where gathered. "Everyone up." He ordered in his tone of authority.

Everyone knew what this was about and they've learned by his tone that he was serious. The ground squad quickly cleared the table and went their respective ways. Although Garrus went and accompanied Jacob at the kitchen.

"Zaeed stay." Shepard quickly said before he could go anywhere.

Zaeed re-seated down on the metal chair saying. "I know what this is about Shepard, and I regret nothing."

"You put everyone at risk," Shepard took the seat opposite. "You disobeyed my order..." he added.

"I saw my opening and I took it... you would've done the same."

"Not if it puts my squadmates at risk."

"I know you...you would have taken the opportunity if it was anyone besides that Cerberus bitch and if you deny it then you are a-"

Shepard slammed the table and stood up. With a deadly tone he replied. "I wouldn't call her that. It's happened before and it doesn't end well."

Zaeed also stood up and he wasn't about to back down. He added. "I didn't realize you were the bitch of the bitch."

Shepard swung a left hook at his face causing him to stumble and fall over his chair. Zaeed quickly got back up again spitting some blood back on Shepard's breastplate.

Zaeed pointed at Shepard and with a warning tone responded. "You sure you want to start something!?"

"No he does not!" A gravely voiced turian said. Garrus walked with haste to his friend and stepped in between. "What are you doing?"

Zaeed answered instead. "He is just a bloody hypocrite, and you're lucky your friend got you out of a mess you wouldn't be walking away from."

Shepard looked him dead in the eye. He said. "On our first stop for repairs...you...get the hell off my ship."

"With pleasure...and I just about had it with you Cerberus people anyway." And with that he turned around and walked away.

Shepard let out a long sigh. Now walking back to the kitchen where Jacob was sitting, observing.

The human and the turian took a seat next to each other.

"I gotta go rest." Jacob began. ''None of us would even be here if it weren't for you Commander, I know we lost most of the crew...but when we signed on... let's just say none of us were expected to come back."

"I appreciate it Jacob, but I wasn't alone in this. I had the best crew a Commander could ask for." he responded with a weak smile.

Jacob rose up and saluted. He then walked towards the elevator.

Shepard and Garrus were the only ones left at the mess hall. Lack of words settled for a few moments before Garrus broke the silence.

"So...where is my rifle?"

That got them both laughing.

* * *

><p>Miranda was lying on her stomach in one of the beds in the Medbay. She was covered in a soft blanket. Weird she thought, this wasn't standard issue. She could barely feel her own body, She was supposed to be sedated but she's been trained to resist a certain amount. Her eyes was closed and she couldn't really move besides twitching her toes.<p>

She heard some voices. She wasn't alone. Shepard and Mordin were exchanging words.

"Shepard you must hold still, one sudden move and I have to restart stitching." The salarian said with an annoyed tone. "why no anesthetic?"

"I don't like the feeling afterwards, makes me feel weak."

She heard the sounds of the medical supplies being moved around.

"Your body is bruised. There were some cuts that I just fixed as you know. Recommend taking it easy," Mordin rambled. "but your body is covered in almost twenty percent scar tissue..."

"The upper body mostly." he added.

"I know I can see that Mordin..." Shepard tried to re-direct the conversation. "She's okay right?"

"Because of her genetic tailoring she will fully heal in the next few days." The salarian said with a reassuring voice.

As time went on the voices couldn't be heard any longer. Miranda felt herself getting tired and slowly starting to fall asleep, letting the sedatives finally do it's job. She felt more secure now knowing she had someone close that cared for her.

* * *

><p>**Author's Notes**<p>

First fanfic chapter. Yay! So I just wanted to set you guys up with my writing style. Next chapter will go into the main plot of the story also was this fast paced? Tell me if I am doing something right or wrong.

* Part quote from The Wolf Among Us

2014/10/11 * Fixed the straight quotes and some grammar.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Prelude 2

Location / Normandy / Captain's Cabin

Shepard woke up in the middle of the night. He stared at the ceiling window, watching the colors the Normandy created while in FTL.

He cannot remember the last time he had a good nights rest. He didn't like to fall asleep for too long because that's where all the people was at, in his dreams. But seeing them wasn't the problem. Waking up and realizing that he had forgotten that they were dead was. Some had died under his leadership. Mistakes, or sacrifices that he had been forced to make. Sacrifices that he had been forced upon because others didn't want that on their conscious.

Cold-blooded, ruthless these were only two of many words that he had been called. After a while though things got easier, Shepard had seen horrible things, done things that any normal man would think horrid, so he'd just stopped showing emotions altogether. Never letting anyone know what he was really feeling because if they did, they would see what a broken man he really is.

He was trying things differently with this new second chance of his. Having been brought back to life made him feel as if there was something to bring back in the first place. He had tasked himself to find it and figure out what it was. When he found out that what he was looking for came in the form of a raven haired woman. It had just made it more confusing figuring out what he was after.

Not being able to sleep properly he rose up from bed and walked over to the bathroom. Once inside he undressed and stepped into the shower, letting the cold water clear his mind.

Miranda Lawson was different. She was gorgeous. Those deep blue eyes, that dark hair that stopped just above her shoulders. Not a flaw on her skin...and that ass...God...

He turned the handle further, making the water even colder.

Her looks wasn't the only think that could kill. She was very intelligent but she was also very deadly. She was not to be underestimated. She was a woman to be feared if on the other side of the gun. She could bask in light and triumph in darkness.

Unlike so many others she understood that there was always someone who had to make the hard decisions so others wouldn't have to. She understood him and knew his reasons. She had told him once that she had expected him to be somewhat of an Alliance poster boy, but was surprised when he turned out to be more like her than imagined.

Shepard stepped out. Still soaking wet, all he could do was looking in the mirror, taking in his own image.

The scars looked more like cracks on his skin. On his chest, abdomen and running around to his lower back. His inner demons trying to claw its way out. Back to where they belong, on the surface. How poetic he thought.

How could Miranda possibly want this? He looked like a monster. If she found out how he really looked like under his clothes she would surely think him hideous and reject him.

That was actually one of the things he feared the most. That's why he couldn't be with her before the mission, that he would expose himself so bluntly would be too much for her.

Shepard was spellbound, Miranda was almost always in his thoughts. Albeit he didn't mind, it made him feel human.

"EDI?" Shepard called out.

After a few seconds the ship AI responded. "Commander the Normandy will not dock for another estimated fifty seven minutes."

"Yeah, well I need something to do. Tell the crew to get ready in thirty minutes or so."

"Yes Shepard." EDI responded. "Also this seems like a good time, want to hear the crew status report?"

"That will keep me occupied, shoot." Shepard replied whilst stepping out, going to his wardrobe and putting on some boxers.

"Thane Krios' condition renders him unable to stay effective for long." EDI began. "He requests departure from Normandy to see his son Kolyat."

"Want me to read his message?" EDI added.

"No need. Granted."

"Garrus ha-" EDI began before Shepard cut her off.

"Read me his message." He said. Dropping down to do push ups.

"Message to Normandy Commander." EDI started. "Shepard. I will be staying on Illium, I have some business with Liara. Its been a heck of a ride, Garrus and Shepard saving the world twice? Now that's something for the vids. I don't think I will be going to far away though. I will still be waiting for a replacement for my gun you know? All in all I request leave. Your turian Idol Garrus. Message ends."

"Let him have it." Shepard said.

"Jack left a voice message, do you want me to run it?"

"Just summarize it." Shepard voiced. He switched to doing sit ups.

"She says in the message that she has grown tired of the ship and its crew. She then further says that she might do some freelance or finding Cerberus people to torment. Jack also added that if you ever got tired of "bumping flesh" with the "cheerleader", you should go find her. Furthermore she ended with saying that she wants off this ship whether you like it or not." EDI summarized.

"The quicker she's gone the better." Shepard answered. He was starting to get fatigued, so he quickened his pace for a final round. "Anything...about...Grunt?"

"Until Clan Urdnot requests his presence, he wishes to stay besides you." EDI replied.

"That's my boy." Shepard said sounding pleased. He paused for a moment and took in a deep breath. "Just tell me the names of everyone that are parting ways, give them permission and tell me where they are going if you can." Shepard uttered. He stood up and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for a response.

"Mordin, location Sur'kesh. Samara, location unknown. Zaeed, location Omega. Thane, location Citadel. Kasumi, location unknown. Jack, location unknown." EDI said.

"Jacob, Tali, Joker, Chakwas and Garrus are all staying on Illium but specified locations are unknown. Grunt is with you." The AI stated further.

"And Legion is probably confined to the Normandy for the risk of being seen. But that's nice though we have janitor walking around." Shepard figured out. "...wait a minute...you didn't say anything about Miranda. Why?"

"She did not clarify any sort of decision. Do you want me to read her message?" EDI's voice echoed around the room.

It seemed like time had stopped for him. He stood up and started pacing back and forth. All he could say was. "Yes."

"Message to Normandy Commander. Meet me. We have things to discuss. Message ends." The AI read.

"That's it?" Shepard sounded surprised. Well all that hype for nothing I guess...

"Yes Shepard. Is something wrong? EDI wondered.

_Right...her sister._

"No." He lied. "Thanks for keeping me company EDI."

"Always Commander. Logging you out."

Shepard went to his wardrobe and threw out some civilian clothes on the bed. His long sleeve purple shirt, black pants and dress shoes. He put them on and headed towards the elevator.

* * *

><p>He reached the door to her room. The door made that "pling" noise letting him know that it was open.<p>

There she sat on the edge of the bed at the far end of the room. Hands on her lap, lost in thought, idly waiting. She was dressed to go. Black heels, jeans and a white blouse.

"Hi" She said. Looking over to him.

"Hey." He walked over to the couch and had a seat. "How's your back?"

"It stings and a little sore, but mostly it's fine."

"Glad to hear it."

"Thanks...for everything back there, if it hadn't been for you-"

Shepard gently cut her off. "Hey, don't mention it."

"Don't mention it?" She asked slightly shocked at his casual answer. "This is not something like: hey can you pass the salt? No, you saved my life."

"My meaning was that you gave mine back, and there is not really anyway to repay you. I am forever in your debt."

"No you're not. You give me too much credit."

"Doubt it." Shepard replied.

_Great. I'm just rambling nonsense now. _

Everything around them seemed to darken as if the spotlights were on them. They both felt it. The words awkward and silence came to mind but he finally said. "So...I take it you are worried about your sister?" Not really knowing how to approach the subject.

She didn't answer immediately. She replied. "Actually I've already taken precaution. As much as it might have looked like it," She cleared her throat. "it wasn't spontaneous."

"Your resignation I take it?"

She nodded.

"That's good." Shepard's voice sounded genuine. "May I ask how you made it look? Yet another relocation might be a little strange-looking don't you think?"

"That's what it was," She adjusted herself so she was more comfortable. "Let's just say...Mr Carroway got such an interesting job offer that he had to take...and bring the family with."

She smirked and he noticed it. He did the same. She was one of few that had that effect on him.

"So how does it feel...not being with Cerberus anymore?" He asked.

"Well I've been with them most of my life," She took in a long breath. "I just don't know where I am going next."

"I know the feeling." He replied. That absence of purpose, he knew it well. He looked in her direction, noticing the change in demeanor.

"I think I will go see Oriana," She started. Trying to prolong the inevitable. "make sure she is doing alright."

"uh-uh. Bet she will be thrilled." he responded.

She walked over and sat besides him. She said. "Shepard...about what I said...I...I wasn't thinking straight. It was a heat of the moment thing."

"Oh...so suddenly i'm Shepard now? Why are you so afraid to feel something for somebody?"

"you are the one to say...you were pretty clear where we stood when you turned me down." She said. She let out a sigh, not being able to meet his eyes. "For the first time in a long time...I put myself out there for someone, for you. Rest assured I won't make that mistake again."

"Miranda it's not like that. Just let me explain." Shepard tried.

"Then what is it like?" She said impatiently. "And don't lie to me..."

Shepard was lack for words, he didn't expect a response so quickly. He said. " I...I don't kno-"

"Is it about the scars?" She muttered.

Shepard let out a faux chuckle. "You don't want to go there..." he murmured. How the hell did she know?

"What are **you** so afraid of?" She asked. She sure was pushing for it. "I know I am not good with these emotional stuff but-"

Shepard cut her off. "Excuse me? But do you think I am?"

"No...guess we're not." Miranda said.

"Nobody knows Miranda," He muttered. Eyes looking forward. "you know I like you. Truth is that I don't know it, the feeling. I just don't know what to do, i am kind of lost here."

"The feeling is mutual."

"...I...just...I just didn't want you to think me as some kind of a monster."

She shook her head. "Don't you **ever** think that." She took his hand in her lap. "Let's face it John, we are not exactly good people but you are **not** a monster."

Their eyes locked for the first time in a while. He said. "You make this whole thing sound so absurd."

That made them both chuckle. She said. "Because it is...and here was I thinking that you didn't want me." She looked down to where she was holding his hand in her lap. She asked. "Are we kidding ourselves? Are we trying to find something that we know is not fit for the lives we live?"

"No. Our lives be damned if it wouldn't give us at least a try." he responded. He sure as hell wasn't kidding himself. This is what he wanted.

"…"

"..."

"Then show me."

She stood up, pulling him up with her. She started to slowly unbutton his shirt and Shepard didn't resist. When she was done she traced her hands gently over his scars and his toned body. She whispered. "This ain't so bad...i mean it must be a side effect from Lazarus, your scars haven't healed correctly. But let me look into it?"

"Okay."

Her gentle touch proved to be too much for him.

"Miranda?"

"Yes?"

This whole time he had been gazing into her eyes. She noticed it and met his. She didn't reject him. She didn't think he was hideous. He cupped her cheek with his right hand and leaned in to kiss her which she reciprocated.

Now he knew what he was looking for. He wanted to feel alive again. That feeling he got when touching her. his lips touching hers, it felt...nice.

They were like that for a few moments before Miranda slightly pulled away. Now their lips an inch apart. She looked down to see the bulge in his pants. she smiled mischievously and asked softly. "Did I do that?"

He chuckled.

"This is the most action I've had in a while, so pardon me." he said with an fake apology.

"Let's do something about that shall we?" she teased. She grabbed his crotch and started to kiss him with slow but deep kisses.

But before things could escalate Joker's voice came in and ruined the atmosphere they had created.

_"Docking in five. Pack your things people. You know...if you haven't already."_ Joker said.

They both pulled away, breathing for air.

Shepard let out disappointing grunt. "He does that like...all the time. Continue this later?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Promise me to never keep things from me."

He smiled and started to button up his shirt again. "I promise that I will never keep things from you."

"Good." She walked over to her desk. Bending down a little exaggerated to pick up her small duffle bag from underneath, and at the same time teasing him a little with a show. She walked over to the door but stopped and turned around. She said. "I'm on my way to Oriana."

"So I've heard."

"And I need my personal bodyguard." She teased.

"Bodyguard ey?" He played.

"Besides, my sister is quite the Shepard fan girl. She'd kill me for not bringing you along."

_That's because she doesn't know it all..._

"Miss Lawson, It'll be my pleasure." He answered.

* * *

><p>**Author's Notes**<p>

I know I said main plot but I felt in order for my story to progress smoothly I had to get this mini Shepard background, and Shep/Miri thing out of the way. I kind of am trying to depict my Shepard as one who has a lot on his conscious but doesn't let it show. I'll try to make the chapters longer but at the cost of when it will become uploaded. Tell me how i am doing?

Disclaimer: I don't own Mass effect or any of that. i just do fanfic.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: I'm your biggest fan

After dropping off their stuff at a hotel, Shepard and Miranda were waiting at the bus stop. Neither one of them really wanted to boost a car in front of each other so they settled for it.

The streets of Illium in night time brought out some shady people. There was a pack of turians doing some suspicious activity at the alleyway further down the street. Two asari getting a little too cozy on the bench behind them and not to mention the krogan butcher shop which was probably a front for something.

This must be the part of the city he missed when he first was here. This wasn't all to different from Omega, except it was not all like a pisshole. Fancier looking but with the same kind of people.

They saw the bus soaring through the air until it stopped in front of them. The two asari rushed passed them to grab the good seats at the back. Miranda stepped in first with Shepard right behind.

Miranda raised her Omni-Tool, She asked. "Two people, how much?"

"Thirty...or twenty if you have a membership." The driver replied.

"Thirty is fine."

She paid it and motioned to two seats. They sat down opposite one another. Shepard stared out the window, watching the bus gain speed. They remained silent for a while, both of them thinking. Probably about what to do next after their departure from Cerberus. But he just hoped that any decision she would make included him.

He Remembered that promise she told him to make about never lying again. A promise is supposed to be forever right? Had she made a commitment?

Shepard was still a Council Spectre for whatever that was worth. There they considered him a madman. A madman that bought the fairy-tales of Saren Arterius. They reinstated his status if he were to operate low key out in the Terminus Systems. But what good will that do? Here he has no authority so it was pointless. Well maybe it hindered the Alliance from sending over goons and take him out...maybe.

_Should have told them to cram their Spectre status._

The Alliance had him branded a terrorist for his affiliation with Cerberus. If they caught him he would most likely be Court-martialed, dishonorably discharged and get a prison sentence to go. If they didn't shoot him on sight that is.

Why couldn't they just understand? He worked with Cerberus not for them. The only thing he did while working with them was to stop the Collectors. It wasn't like he was a part of all the other twisted things they might have done. They were all so narrow-minded and a good example of that was Kaidan.

All he could see was the Cerberus patch on his shoulder. He tried to reason with him, make him see that there is a bigger threat than the one he thought was Cerberus. But he knew pretty well what that threat was, he just didn't want to do it if backed by the organisation. Shepard thought him a friend, one of few that he had and he betrayed him.

Now Liara...she was easier to talk to. Even though she couldn't help him much during the collector mission, she had her reasons to why she couldn't. She was understanding and really did want to aid him anyway possible.

Things hadn't exactly left them on good terms with him dying and all. But it didn't really matter now did it? He and Miranda had something going on.

That little chat they had in Miranda's office was the most he shared about himself to anyone. He didn't know why her but he did. The lack of _real _conversations with Liara had put their relationship on hold, never moving onward, if anything it was backwards. What if she still thought they were together? How was he going to break it down to her?

_Hey Liara, I met this super sexy ex-cerberus operative, I want to have sex with her and did I mention Garrus has the hots for you? Try that, it's a win-win situation._

Ridiculous. He had no idea.

What was going on with him and Miranda really? Maybe what little he shared with her was because deep down she might be as messed up as him.

Miranda having been raised in a tough home would be the understatement of the century. He on the other hand had a family that cared about him, well at least until the happening. He didn't know what was worse, to have a family, loving and caring but only for them to be taken away from you or the constant present of a disapproving father that only _created_ their daughters for personal gain.

He could vomit.

Shepard sought to think about something else, something less depressing.

What was Oriana like? She was most likely different from Miranda, having not grown up with the conditions that she had. What if they looked exactly like each other? Would he be able to tell them apart?

He noticed that they weren't at that part of the city no more. But the bustling city center. The cars had become considerably more and looking down he could see the markets being crowded with people even at this hour. Makes sense though, being in Nos Astra.

"See that skyscraper?" Miranda broke the silence, pointing to the window on the other side of the bus. "The one on the right?"

He nodded.

It was hard to miss. He wondered how many floors it had, forty maybe. "That's where she lives?"

"uh-huh," She smiled. "Twenty ninth floor. We are almost there."

"She lives with her parents?"

"Yes. But they are supposed to be out tonight." She elaborated. "They do not exactly approve of my "shady lifestyle"."

"They said that?"

"No they told Oriana, she told me." In her professional tone she continued. "She doesn't know what I do or the nature of our business and I tend to keep it that way."

Mostly he didn't mind her being able to switch on and off when needed to be or around others. Heck that was one of the traits he liked about her. But here on the bus where basically there was no one around? In this case he didn't like her tone very much.

She must have sensed this, so when she slightly sat more upright in her seat so that their knees was no longer brushing against each other...

He could see the regret on her features. She suddenly found their surrounding interesting but finally she quietly said. "Sorry...I didn't mean to come of like that. It's just that I never do this..."

"Never do what?"

"I don't know how to be..." She trailed, trying to find the correct words. "It's always been me doing things... alone, just me. For a second there I saw you as a mission...I forgot that we-"

Shepard could see that this was hard for her. He just learned that sharing wasn't something she would be good at from the start. Not like he was either.

He went over and sat on the seat next to her, and when she didn't mind, he said gently. "Hey it's fine, it will take time to get used to. Seeing as both of us were all about work not long ago..."

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

"I've never in my life envisioned myself entangled with someone-" She tried.

"You don't have to explain."

"But if anyone...I'm glad it's you."

He smirked and she did the same.

"Likewise Miranda." He replied.. "You know, we are not that different you and I. We both have been so focused on the mission, and the mission after that," He shifted in his seat. "I.. just know what it's like. To suddenly turn that off, to walk a different path," he hinted, "Maybe with someone."

She turned slightly, facing him. "With someone?"

"Yeah, with someone."

"I have no problem with that." She said casually.

They let out a chuckle.

John gestured towards the door. "Come on, let's go see your sister."

They stood up, stepped outside. Almost immediately noticing the change in mood. The quiet atmosphere in the bus was no longer, instead the noisy swooshing of the passing cars and the crowd further down the street. The multi colored neon signs were many and it reminded him of the Citadel.

Here the shady people were instead the ones linked with loophole contracts or bad market vendors. If anything the controversial indentured servitude was considered the bad people. But then again they did sign the papers themselves in the first place.

They had been standing here for some time now. He saw her looking away in the distance as if searching for something. He asked. "Miranda?"

She didn't answer.

"Hey?" He tried again but this time touching the side of her cheek.

"hmm?" She replied. Looking back at him.

"See something you like?"

"It's nothing. Let us be on the way shall we?"

"Really?"

"Yes. Really." This time more annoyed at his persistence.

Shepard didn't believe her but did not ponder on it any further. Miranda put her arm around his back and they started to walk towards the tower where Oriana was waiting.

* * *

><p>They stepped out of the elevator when the synthesized voice confirmed that they had reached the twenty-ninth floor.<p>

Shepard looked to his left then to his right. The hallway split into two directions. "Which number?"

She nodded to their right. "That one, at the far end."

They started to walk in that direction. He said. "Wow... you really put in a lot of effort. Having her live in a super fancy skyscraper." he continued. "Corner apartment and everything."

"Well, I've been doing this for her almost all my life. Nothing but the best applies to my sister too you know?"

Nothing but the best was sort of her motto he figured.

He chuckled. "Alright...hey you know what," They reached the correct door. He stepped a little further away so whoever opened the would only be able to see Miranda. "I stay behind here, she is a fan right?"

"Of course." She smirked.

"Do it."

Miranda plinged the doorbell and waited. After a few moments they heard the muffled steps and the door opened.

"'Randa!" the soft voice of the younger sister reached his ears. "I'm so, so glad you came!"

"Hi Ori." Miranda smiled.

He could see the glimmer in Miranda's eyes when see spoke to her sister. Something he would like to see more often, if not all the time. The younger sister stepped out into the hallway and enveloped her in a big hug.

From the angle he was standing from he could see the resemblance between the two. Almost exactly looking alike. If not for the age difference he was not sure if he would be able to tell them apart. Her hair was just as black as hers.

She hadn't noticed his presence yet. Shepard moved slightly from the wall so he came into her line of sight. He said. "Hi Oriana."

She turned and faced him. Her face said it all. She spoke in a hushed awed whisper. "Commander Shepard?" She turned louder. "Commander Shepard! Oh my god!

"Surprise." Miranda cut in.

He didn't really know what do to, seeing her jump up and down. Normally when "fans" would stop him he'd usually by now already told them to beat it. But this was Miranda's sister and he had no intention of doing so. He said. "You can call me John," He gestured with his hand,"and none of that Commander stuff."

"Okay John – oh I'm so stupid, come in." She replied somewhat calmer.

Oriana showed them the way in and told them to sit down in the living room. And they did just that, sitting next to each other while Oriana scrambled with something at the kitchen.

The apartment didn't seem to be that large, from his position on the couch. it looked like it couldn't be more than four rooms, minus the living room. The kitchen was right there in the open area combined with the living area. There was a glass table in the middle of two-three seat couches and a one seat couch.

Miranda touched his arm, looking around the room, she said. "It got this asari feel, right?"

"Yeah, I got the vibe too."

The night went on without a hitch. They had late night dinner and fun, real fun. Something that Shepard hadn't had for very, very long. They both seemed to enjoy it actually, the cool exterior of Miranda Lawson the ice queen didn't surface and he could see what a majestic person she really is under all that.

Oriana seemed to be her usual self, not that he had met her before but he figured that she was always this happy and positive, something that rubbed off.

But when the questions regarding their occupation came to word, they gave her the civilian friendly version.

Miranda was quick to respond. Apparently she was an electrophysiologist whose work was to diagnose and treat abnormal heart rhythms. She did go on and explain very in detail but to him it was nothing but another language.

Shepard thought Miranda one of the smartest people he had ever met. She was probably educated in a lot of things. She did bring him back to life after all.

He on the other hand was himself...or that self he appeared to be to others. He told her that his death was faked for reasons he couldn't go into, but whatever the cause he told her that it was over.

Miranda made up some story about how they met and she seemed to have bought it all.

They were sitting at the kitchen table, having finished dinner for a while now.

"So my sister is with Commander Shepard? As in dating? My sister!" She continued. "We should do this more often."

"Sure." Shepard replied, like it was the most obvious thing. Maybe when the Cerberus heat dies down they can. But until then Miranda wanted some distance from her sister to keep her away from all that. "I mean we both got a lot of work but we will find time for this."

Miranda nodded in approval. "Always time for my sister."

Oriana smirked in appreciation. "Hey can I take a picture?"

"I would love a picture with you Ori." Miranda responded.

Shepard replied. "I don't don't see why not – as long as you keep it a secret, for now at least. " He went on and added. "Just trying to keep a low profile. Hard as it is in Illium..."

Oriana smiled, she rose up and was about activate her Omni-tool but she was interrupted by something behind the front door making noise.

Her smile quickly faded. "Quick hide!"

"Were they not supposed to be out for another hour?" Shepard asked. He looked to Miranda.

Miranda didn't move an inch. She said. "Not a chance Ori. They just have to deal with it."

Shepard uttered. "Come on Miranda we shouldn't get her into trouble."

"Too late for that now." She rose from her seat. "They just have to accept it."

He didn't want to make a scene. He was too tired for it.

"Miranda." Shepard said in an unyielding tone. "Now is not the time."

She gazed at him. Her eyes no longer seemed to have that glow when allowed to. instead still looking at him, she let out a sigh. "Good bye, Ori."

By the looks of it the sisters seemed disappointed by the abrupt end.

Oriana replied. "Bye dear sister," She continued. "and John."

"It was nice to meet you." He said. He reached for his pocket and brought out a device. It was slightly smaller than on of a Omni-tool wristband. He handed it to Miranda. "Put it on."

She did just that.

Her adoptive parents ventured further in the apartment to find their daughter alone sitting in the dining area.

The father with an annoyed tone asked. "Oriana, what are you doing up so late?"

"I was hungry so I decided to get a snack." she lied.

"Really?" The mother questioned. "A snack? So then you decided to get a full on meal?"

"Go back to bed." They both said simultaneously.

Shepard led Miranda out the door and gently closed it so that it wouldn't give away their presence. He de-cloaked and she slowly after.

He sensed that she wanted to lash out on him. The way her hands formed into fist gave that away. But she seemed to think better of it. For the time being...

"Do you always bring two of those?" She asked with a hint of venom in her voice. She started to walk back towards the elevator, not waiting for him.

He knew what this was all about. He followed and matched her tone. "In times like these – yeah I do. What? What did you bring?"

She stopped in her tracks and kneeled down, pulling up her jeans up to her knees. Revealing three different set of throwing knives below her left knee and down. On her right down at the ankle there was a small gun still looking capable of doing damage.

_Damn me to the depths of hell if this woman doesn't have sexy legs_.

She stood up. "That good enough for you?" her voice was starting to show anger. "But you probably brought that little cloaking device only so you could stop me from finally gaining the acceptance of her parents.

He caught up with her. Maybe she was right. He questioned. "But showing up in the middle of the night to do so?"

"Only opening I got. I'm tired of hiding around like a – a secret boyfriend." She pulled down her pant legs again.

"I didn't know that..." with his usual calm tone he tried to explain himself. "Hey you gotta admit, from my point of view-"

"Who are you to make that decision anyway?" She blurted out. The elevator door opened. Two people stepped out interrupting their dispute.

They walked silently to the elevator. Once inside She pressed the button for the bottom floor and resumed.

Her persona was back and in full force.

Shepard countered. "Was I not part of that situation? What would you think their reaction would be if you suddenly would show up with **me**?"_ Yeah that's right. Come silent have we?_

She wanted to come with a response but found difficult doing so.

As he realized what he had said he continued with a sad tone. "In case you didn't know, being around me could tarnish anyone's reputation."

The elevator door opened and as if in a trance they walked to the parking lot. Despite the tension between the two they decided to stick to each other.

The parking lot was full of cars. He found one he liked and marched towards it.

She seemed to know what he was thinking and stopped. "That one is ugly," She motioned to the car to her right. "you might as well do it correctly."

He turned around and noticed the X3M she was referring to. That one was more common so it would be harder to track down if stolen and is less likely to have a tracker inside. Not that he would find problem there. "Good call."

He strode over and put his hand on the lock. His Omni-tool activated and started to hack the door. He was right, this version of the skycar was activated on fingerprint and he could bypass it. After a while the lock opened and he took a seat. Shepard unlocked the passenger door from inside and let her in.

But before he could go to work wiring, she reached under his legs and busted up the steering column revealing the wires.

Her head was near his lap and he couldn't help but picture anyone outside looking in, how strange they would seem. He tried to lighten the mood. "You've done this before?"

She didn't acknowledge him. She sparked the wires and quickly the car started running.

_Seven seconds, damn she was fast._

They closed the door and Shepard grabbed the steering wheel, turning it with force as to break the lock. With a pull upwards it broke and they were good to go.

"Punch it." She said.

"Excuse me? Who is driving right now?" he shot back.

She immediately started to climb over to his seat and in awkward moves he was forced to switch. Trying to hide that smile that was creeping up on her. She said. "I am."

She looked like she wanted to say something. She took in sigh. "John...I'm not mad at you."

"It seems so actually." John replied.

"It's just – She knew that I was lying the moment I opened my mouth." She stared out the windshield. "And now I'm probably not going to see her again for as long as Cerberus, the Alliance and the fucking council is on my arse."

She'd told him once how things worked with Cerberus. If you go rogue they will hunt you down but not before they release your "working history". Missions you've been on, basically anything that could ruin you. But the tactic could also reveal Cerberus secrets by doing so right? Wrong. Mostly they were all fabricated lies. It just meant that Cerberus wasn't there to protect you anymore.

"Hey Miri," She noticed his use of her name of affection and gave him a glance. "We are in this together, and I'm going to do everything I can to take Cerberus, the Alliance and the fucking council of your ass."

He turned in his seat so he was facing her. "And as for your Oriana... She'd be stupid if she doesn't realize what a magnificent sister she has."

Miranda chuckled. With a slightly more buoyant voice she responded. "You're too kind."

"I try."

She finally met his eyes. "I'm a better driver."

"Come on. I don't drive that bad...do I?"

She let out a soft laugh and damn it was infectious.

Just when she was going to lift off she suddenly stopped any movement and stared out again. This time more serious in her looks. "Shepard."

"Fine I do, but you have to admi-"

"Shepard!"

He noticed the use of her professional tone and his last name. He took a quick look at their surroundings. Nothing noteworthy thus far. He turned serious and answered. "Something wrong?"

"Yes," She nodded towards the skycar in front of them. "See the reflection of that shuttle's windshield?"

"U-huh." he did. If it wouldn't be for the perceptive eyes of Miranda Lawson he would never had seen it and that would say a lot coming from an expert sharpshooter that was supposed to be on the alert for such things. "Human Male, three rows behind us, on that bench, outdoor bar next to the volus and the salarian?"

It was a man, not clothed to be taken seriously. He was wearing some cheap knock-off armor that stood out from anyone that is actually right in their mind.

"Spot on." She replied. "Want me to handle it?"

"No no, if it was Cerberus we would've been made by now..." He focused, trying to see what the guy was fiddling with. "is he filming us? This must be amateur play Miranda otherwise – just wait here."

She grabbed his hand with a firm grip. "Just a precaution, if it is anything I want to set up a rendezvous."

"The little asari restaurant outside our hotel." He replied.

"Don't kill yourself."

"I leave that to you."

Shepard exited the vehicle and shut the door. He took a look towards the guy, now outside he had a clear vision. He could see a N7 logo on his chest.

He marched over, when he reached the last row of cars he shouted. "Hi Conrad!"

The guy looked shocked, he quickly tried to hide his actions. He desperately tried to explain himself. "S-Shepard? what a coincidence, I was just-"

Shepard, now only a few feet away. "Cut the spiel Conrad, I told you to stay away. Now it's too late..."

"Hey Shepard – please don't hurt me!" he yelled frightened.

Conrad made a dash and Shepard bolted after him. Shepard being considerably faster was already catching up to him. They were running in a rather deserted area. When he was going to tackle him the pretender suddenly took a sharp left, what he didn't see though was that there was a 15 feet drop to the street below.

Conrad landed on a dumpster with a heavy crash. He squealed in pain, he fumbled to regain his steps. All the while Shepard was looking from atop with an amused look.

John took a strong leap and landed on top him with a thud, then fell off of his back, rolling over on the ground a few feet away from him.

"You broke my leg!" Conrad cried.

"Broke your leg? You dirtied my clothes!" He shot back, standing up. "I told you to stay away. Guess that didn't go through that thick skull of yours!"

Conrad still lying on the floor hastily stood up. Supporting his left leg as he leaned against the dumpster. His cheap armor was starting to fall apart.

"You can have the video, just don't kill me please." he pleaded.

Shepard took in a long sigh, hands at his waist, he replied. "Fine I won't kill you...just hand it over."

Conrad was about to send it to him but Shepard pointed for the wristband. "Give me the entire thing."

he took it off and tossed it to him, not daring to get close.

"Was that so hard? Now will I ever see you again?"

"You won't. You will never see me." he said

He had to do something. If he wouldn't he would just keep coming back. He reached behind his back and pulled out his M-348 Talon. He had to hand it to Cerberus, they knew how to make weapons.

"No! Please! You said that you wouldn't kill me!"

"I lied."

* * *

><p>2014-1011 *Fixed some grammar and my chapters have names now.


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